Stalking is one of those words that’s often misunderstood. It gets thrown around like it’s just someone being “a bit obsessed” or “not over you.” But for many survivors – stalking is terrifying. It’s invasive. It’s dangerous. And sadly, it’s far too common.
During National Stalking Awareness Week, I want to shine a light on something that many don’t feel safe to speak about – but desperately need support with.
What stalking really looks like
It’s not always someone lurking in the shadows. It can be:
- Endless texts, DMs, or emails – even when you’ve blocked them.
- Turning up at your work, gym, your child’s school.
- Watching your house.
- Using mutual friends to ask where you are or what you’re doing.
- Sending gifts after you’ve said “Leave me alone.”
- Installing trackers or hidden cameras.
- Harassing your new partner or smearing your name online.
The reality is – stalking is about control, not love. It’s rooted in entitlement and power, often wrapped up in narcissistic abuse or post-separation coercive control.
You’re not being dramatic – you’re being targeted
If someone is making you feel scared, watched, or constantly anxious – trust that feeling. So often, we’re conditioned to downplay our own instincts. You don’t need to prove anything. If your peace is being disturbed, it matters. You matter.
What you can do
- Document everything: Keep a log of incidents, no matter how small. Dates, times, screenshots, photos – this builds a pattern.
- Tell someone you trust: Whether it’s a friend, colleague or support worker. You don’t need to go through this alone.
- Report it: Call 101 or 999 if you feel in immediate danger. Ask for your report to be logged under stalking and harassment. The Suzy Lamplugh Trust also has a National Stalking Helpline.
- Secure your tech: Update passwords, check for tracking apps, and review your privacy settings. Consider getting a second phone for trusted contacts.
- Get a Stalking Protection Order (SPO) or Non-Molestation Order – these are legal tools designed to help keep you safe.
- Use your local DA service: Many now include stalking support. You can also reach out to us at UKind Therapy if you’re feeling unsafe and don’t know where to start.
And please – don’t blame yourself
Stalkers choose to harass. You didn’t “lead them on” or “bring it on.” Survivors often carry so much guilt, fear, and shame when in fact, they’ve done everything right. You’ve tried to move on. You’ve tried to heal. It’s them who can’t let go – not you.
How we help
At UKind Therapy, we’re not just about healing the trauma – we’re about reclaiming your confidence and purpose. That includes safety planning, trauma-informed support, and soon, our VR therapy that gives you a space to decompress and build resilience.
We’ve walked this path too. That’s why we do what we do.
If this post speaks to you, or someone you know is being stalked, please reach out. Share this. Start the conversation. Your story might just give someone else the courage to speak up.
Together, we’re not just raising awareness – we’re building freedom.
With love and strength,
Amanda x